WASHINGTON — Whether it鈥檚 charming the barista into adding an extra shot of espresso to your order or convincing your co-workers that your project proposal is the best, chances are you spend a lot of time wooing others. 聽And like most things, wooing is an art form — especially when it comes to romance.
Charmaine Flanagan, of Howard County, Maryland, is an expert in the persuasion department. As the founder and 鈥渨oo-ru鈥� at , she spends her days helping people win others over. If you鈥檙e thinking Flanagan鈥檚 job involves instructions on fluttering eyelashes, puckering lips and flashing flirty smiles, think again: She says new relationships hardly need any work in the wooing category — that鈥檚 automatic.
鈥淲hether you know it or not, you start to really lean in to the person, listen to what they鈥檙e saying, open the door for them — really pay attention to what鈥檚 going on,鈥� Flanagan says about new relationships.
She鈥檚 busy with more established couples, because it鈥檚 when the butterflies settle and commitment ensues that the wooing slows down. But it doesn鈥檛 have to disappear for good.
鈥淥ften if you鈥檝e been together so long, you can forget [to woo], and we need a reminder,鈥� she says.
If you want to ramp up the woo-factor in your relationship, Flanagan has some advice — just in time for Valentine鈥檚 Day.
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The first step to putting some woo back into your romance, Flanagan says, is to figure out what makes your partner feel most loved — whether it鈥檚 gifts, quality time, physical touch, affirmations or acts of service — an approach she uses based on Gary Chapman鈥檚 .
Once you nail down your partner鈥檚 language, it鈥檚 time to tap into it with some creative ideas.
Flanagan says if your significant other prefers acts of service, surprise your partner by cleaning the house before he/she gets home.聽 Do some extra laundry this week, or take the car in to get serviced. In busy households, small gestures of service go a long way.
For a grander gesture, take your partner out to dinner and arrange for a cleaning service to come while you are gone. When you arrive back home, you鈥檒l both walk into a sparkling clean home.
鈥�It鈥檚 not about gifts; it鈥檚 about helping out,鈥� Flanagan says. 鈥淎nd those things can really make you look sexy to your partner.鈥�
If your partner likes quality time, instead of going out to a crowded restaurant you can create a picnic in the middle of the living room floor. Get a bottle of wine, light a few candles and tune out distractions for a few hours.
鈥淚t鈥檚 just you and your partner, and that鈥檚 what quality time is all about,鈥� Flanagan says.
Those who prefer physical touch might be pleased with a back rub, and dropping a nice note into your significant other鈥檚 work bag might win over someone who prefers words and affirmations.
Like most things in life, putting a little extra thought into what your partner needs out of a relationship will go a long way, Flanagan says — on Valentine鈥檚 Day and throughout the year.
鈥淚t鈥檚 about being creative; it鈥檚 not really about the heart-shaped chocolate box and it鈥檚 not about the flowers 鈥� it鈥檚 about honing in on what the love language is and being creative around that.鈥�
